Tuesday, August 12, 2008

We're Hiring!

Ok, I admit it. I'm a glass half full kind of guy. All this talk about layoffs and firings blah blah blah has gotten me down lately, but when God closes a door....

So I was sitting in an interview with some candidate for Vice President of Recreational Services and Glenna was doing her thing of peering into my office to see how things were going when it hit me. Firings mean hirings. And if anyone is in a position to hire, I mean really fucking hire, it's us.

I got so excited I cut the interview short, which was ok, cause we were going to hire her anyway. We always hire the first person who comes in. Rand says that the first person in line is always the most qualified, and I never question Rand.

I waved Glenna in and asked her to gather up all the recruiters so I can give them one of my signature pep talks, IMC is going on a hiring binge!

Glenna quickly reminded me we fired all the recruiters. Whatever. They sucked anyway. We don't need recruiters, we're imc2. People are fucking dying to work here.

Anyway, if you know anyone, let us know. We pretty much have openings in every office in every city. Nothing too urgent though. Except now that I think about it we could use a new CFO. I had to fire the last one. For cause of course, no layoff for Mr. Lavey.

I mean, how hard can it be to be a CFO here? I kept telling him, if you can't cook the books for a company like ours, you must be a fucking moron. Do you even know math? Those guys at Enron hid tons of things from the government for years, and they were pushing billions around. You hear that Mike? Billions. With a fucking "B."

I know we're a top digital agency and all, but it's not like there's THAT much money to screw with. Can't have everyone thinking we're insolvent. So I fired him. Good riddance. Honestly. Sometimes it feels like amateur hour around here.

Sorry to digress but if you know anyone looking to work at the greatest company on earth, let me know.

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