Ian and I were sitting in the Zen room yesterday trying to clear our heads of all the negative energy flowing around this place lately, and try as I might, I just couldn't stop thinking about all those people we fired. I mean they sucked and we had to get rid of them, but still, why are they all so, you know, angry?
It's really bothering me, like day and night bothering me so I thought a good sit in the zen room would help. No dice. Even my double soy chai tea doesn't even soothe my nerves like it should. I just keep seeing all those faces and thinking "Why the hell did we hire you all in the first place, you ungrateful pricks?"
Don't they know that his is the best place they'll ever work? Don't they see how we're changing the way marketing is done? We're visionaries here people. If you want to make an omelet and all that.
Ian tried to calm me down by explaining to me they're just all feeling jilted, like when you're dating a really hot girl and you're just an average looking guy and she leaves you and starts sleeping with half the football team and you have to go to the prom and see her here in that slutty red dress and...
Honestly I just tuned him out after that. Note to self. No more getting high with Ian before hitting the zen room. He loses focus too easily. Come back to me buddy, we're talking about me here, ok?
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